lol

I was bored and decided to share some jokes here. 

I will start us off with this joke: 

One day a Quebec man walked into a bar and shouted out, "Everyone here gets a beer from me!" When the people asked him why he said that his son was just born. The man was asked how much the baby weighed and he smiled and said, "25 pounds!" Everyone congratulated him and stuff. 

The next week the man walks into the same bar even happier than the last time. When someone asked him how much his son weighed now the father answered 17 pounds! Since there wassuch a drastic change people asked why the child lost all that weight. The father answered, "We had him circumsized"

and this joke:So this lady goes to a bridal shop to get a wedding dress. She tells the tailor that she is getting married for the 4th time so she wants the whitest dress they have. The tailor says, "Hmmmm, maybe I could interest you in something off-white or in light pink." The bride says, "Believe it or not I kept my virginity during all 3 previous mairrages. You see my first husband was a gynecologist, all he did when he got under the covers examine it and nothing more. My second husband was a shrink, all he did when he got under there was talk to it and nothing more. My third husband, Steve, was a stamp collector, oh how I miss Steve. And now I'm marrying a lawyer so I know I'm going to get screwed."